Last month I shared with you how sometimes, when life feels haaard, I can hear the faint echo of my old ways whispering, tempting me to hit play on a destructive self-talk tape.

Although it’s faint, it’s very familiar. It’s a strong pathway that was developed for me to manage my distress for many years, and a circuitry I can run …like that.

…Or not.

It’s taken me years to fully own this choice, and it can feel incredibly challenging even today.

But it is a choice and it is mine. I remind myself that the dialogue that comes with the criticism tape is deeply damaging and has never, ever served me.

Shaming and blaming my body did not or will not ever work the way I want it to. So instead, I make the decision to press play on the curiosity tape.

Because “change, if it is to be long-lasting, must occur on the unseen levels first. With understanding, inquiry, openness.” – Geneen Roth

I want you to know that if what you’re saying to yourself isn’t working for you, the choice is also yours.

When you’re feeling all of the feels and tempted to press play on criticism, STOP. Try speaking to yourself as if you’re a small child who’s suffering.

What kind, compassionate words would you use?

“I want to know every little thing. I’m here to listen to you.”
“Oh, darling, tell me more. Tell me where you feel those feelings.”
“Come here, sweetheart, tell me all about it.” – Geneen Roth
Ask yourself, “what do I truly need right now?”

Give yourself the space to hear what you’re truly in need of – on paper, with a trusted friend, family member or therapist.

Maybe it’s getting a few more hours of sleep this week, a break from social media or making time for movement.

Whatever your answers may be, believe you’re worthy of them, just the way you are.

Feeling all of the feels with you, xo

claire-rhn-2

 

 

Like this letter? You might also like Notes from the Heart edition  8 & 9.

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